Who Will Fall Far Behind?
by Jasmk16
Summary: I just thought and hoped that perhaps you'd want an explanation as to why come Monday morning I won't be in my usual seat in Sikowitz's class or why I won't ever walk through the Hollywood Arts doors again.
1. What happened here?

**A/N:** Hi! I'm back! Did ya miss me?(:

It's been I while I know. My apologies for my absence. I've been pretty busy lately. [x

I'm not sure if I like this at all. xP

Enjoy!

I** do not** own **Victorious**

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Tori bit the end of the pencil. She stared at the menacing equation concentrating and trying to figure out what she had done wrong to get three different numbers each time she double checked. The circulating numbers were creating a throbbing headache. It was almost five. She had decided to stay a few hours after school so she could get some work done in the library. The last couple of days Trina had been a straight down pain in the neck. She would rant on about anything and bicker on about nonsense for hours endlessly. She'd been arguing with her a lot lately. Tori didn't blame her though; she hadn't exactly been the friendliest person around lately. Everything seemed to upset her easily. She couldn't be in the same room with another person without feeling like she was going to break down.

Finally catching her mistake, Tori finished up the final problems and gathered her assignments. Tori yawned as she walked to her locker to put away her books. Trina wasn't the only reason she had been staying late hours after school. The brunette had been desperately trying to keep her mind focused and away from any thoughts concerning a certain dark haired girl. It had been almost a month since she and the pale girl had worked on the play Sikowitz had written. They had spent quite some time together and though the brunette was more than aware of her feelings for the Goth, working together had only served to spur them on further.

Jade and Tori hadn't exactly started off on the right hand. That was more of an understatement. They had definitely started off bad. For crying out loud, the Goth had poured a cup of iced coffee over the brunette's head in front of the entire class. It took all of Tori's strength to return to school the next day to face her classmates again, to face _Jade_. As time progressed the young Vega grew used to the pale girl's cruel and unusual mistreatment and for some strange and unexplainable reason she grew fonder of the Goth each day. It got harder as time passed to keep her feeling to herself when she was around the girl. She knew she couldn't do anything about it. Jade had Beck why would she want her? Why would _anyone_?

That was what angered the older Vega. Tori had begun to think so low of herself lately and it had begun to show in her behavior. Her school was going more than great, but she had grown quieter by the days. In the beginning the gang questioned her odd behavior but as days passed and the silence remained, they eventually stopped asking questions and stopped trying to include her in their conversations all together. It didn't bother the half Latina as much as she wished it would have. The only part that bothered her from it all was the lack of insults from Jade. She missed them. At that point anything would have been welcoming. She didn't want to push her friends away, she wanted them to question her endlessly and interrogate her. She wanted to talk to someone about how she felt.

In the end she was always on her with consuming thoughts of the dark haired girl. Tori didn't like thinking about Jade too much. It pained her to know that despite the recent break up between the Canadian and the pale girl, nothing could ever possibly happen between them. How could it? Jade was oblivious to Tori's feelings. She hated her, right?

Normally during the week the hallways were crowded even after school hours. Being Friday Tori wasn't too surprised to find the hallway dead. She made her way to the lit up locker and opened it, placing her books in it for the weekend. Tori's desperation to remove the Goth from her thoughts had severed well in her grades. She always finished her assignments early and had just about more than enough time to study for upcoming quizzes. She leered at the colorful locker. What was she going to do with all the pictures? She thought as she looked at the decorated locker.

"What's your poison, Vega?"

The sound of the sweetly tortuous voice caused a shiver to rise in the brunette's back. This had to be a dream. She hadn't spoken to her the entire week, not willingly at least. Why out of all days did she choose that day to break the ongoing record? Tori closed her locker and hesitantly turned to face the mesmerizing green eyes that always left her breathless. "Jade I-I..."

Jade smiled in amusement. "Out with it, Vega. I'm pretty sure even _Ms. Goodie-too-shoes_ would never spend a Friday evening at school by choice. Were you in detention or something?" She arched a brow in question.

Tori opened her mouth to speak but closed it once more when she found she had no answer. "_You_ were in detention?" she asked as what the raven haired woman said dawned on her.

Jade's smirk faded. She crossed her arms and glared at Tori. "That's none of your business, Vega," she snapped.

Tori tried to bite back the smile as she nodded. "Well that's a waste of a Friday," she simply replied. She didn't mind Jade snapping at her. She'd grown used to it, but she'd be lying if she said it didn't hurt. Tori glanced at the time on her phone and sighed. She'd finished her homework earlier than expected and that only meant she had to face Trina sooner.

Jade noticed the slight frustration cross the brown eyes and stared at the girl in curiosity. "Something the matter, Vega?"

Tori ignored the question and tried her best to keep her composure. The entire week she had managed to make it through because Jade had been ignoring her. It hurt, that it did, but it helped Tori make her final decision. As much as she knew it was going to be hard, she knew it was the only way she could go on with her life. The gang probably wouldn't notice the first couple of days, at least that was the plan. But seeing Jade now only seemed to throw off the plan. She didn't want to be the girl on the sideline who watched while the girl she loved blossomed without once noticing her. That's what had driven Tori to her decision. She just couldn't live like that anymore. She'd met her breaking point and she didn't think she could take anymore. It was only going to hurt her in the end and.

"Vega, hey are you in there?" Jade waved her hand in front of the brunette's face.

Tori swallowed and met the green eyes once more. "Yeah, sorry. Just got a lot on my mind," she answered brushing back the auburn locks from her face.

Jade stared at her unsatisfied with the response. Tori hadn't been herself the last couple of weeks. It hadn't gone unnoticed by the Goth she simply chose to brush it aside with the idea that it must have had something to do with school. "I don't need your life story, Vega. You just seemed out of it." Jade hated that she was too prideful. She wouldn't allow anyone to see her as caring or sweet. The only other person aside from Beck that had managed to see her true colors had been Cat, of course being her best friend. She quickly regretted her response when a hurt look crossed the brown eyes.

Tori nodded as she felt a lump rose in her throat. It's now or never Tori, she told herself. "Right, well... I should go." Tori leaned over to hug the pale girl quickly. She clenched her jaw tightly to refrain from crying as she broke the embrace. She took a moment to record the event in her mind. Her hand shyly curled around the handles of the hand bag. "Take care of yourself, Jade," she softly spoke with a small smile before practically running out of the hallway.

Jade could have sworn she saw tears in the brown eyes as they met with hers a final time.

"Take...care...of...myself?" Jade furrowed her brows in confusion still struck with pure astonishment at the encounter that had just taken place. She shook her head and began to walk out of the school toward her truck. Vega must have been out of it, but why did she hug me, she thought as she threw her bag into the passenger seat. A well-worn envelope slipped from the handbag catching the pale girl's attention. Whoever the original owner of it was had kept it close by the looks of the wrinkled corners. Jade stared at it for a moment before taking in her hands. The writing on the envelope was unfamiliar as she examined it. Her name was neatly written in cursive across the paper. Jade pursed her lips in thought before placing the envelope back down and pulling out of the school parking lot. She turned on the radio to divert her attention away from the bantering object.

The mysterious envelope had been eating at the Goth the entire drive. She finally decided to give in to her curiosity and pulled off to the side of the road to park, shutting the engine to the truck. She grabbed the envelope, her hands trembling, as her fingers reached to gently tear the seal. She braced herself as she began to read over the neatly written letter.

"_Dear Jade,_

_I've never written one of these letters so I'm not too sure where to begin. Well I suppose I can begin by telling you that it's been over a year since I first laid my eyes on you. From that moment I knew I was crazy about you. It probably sounds insane, trust me I know. How can I be in love with my best friend's girlfriend, right? I've asked myself that question hundreds of time and I've never really managed to get an answer. As time passed I became used to your constant banter and finally stopped fighting my feelings for you. I learned to accept them but you never once noticed me. Not really. You saw me every day but not the way I wished you would see me. I slowly faded into the background in your life as time went on. The day things ended between you and Beck my heart ached. I was troubled you see. I wanted so much to tell you how I felt, but I just couldn't do it. I was too afraid. I was afraid you'd reject me. We didn't exactly get off on the right hand in the start and I figured that despite my strong feelings for you, I'd rather keep them to myself then risk the chance of having you break my heart.__ That also meant I could keep you in my life a little longer without scaring you away._

_I've come to realize now that I'm such a coward for not telling you how I feel in person. Jade, I love you. I have from the beginning and I don't think I'll ever truly stop. You're beautiful in every way possible. You have such an amazing voice and a stunning talent for acting. You drive me crazy and challenge me and it's absolutely divine. Your eyes are breathtaking and your smile leaves me speechless.__As much as it hurts me to leave, I've decided that it's the best for the both of us. I can't live any longer with my feelings in secrecy, Jade and I don't want to risk pushing you away with the truth. I'd rather keep the small moments we shared in my memories then have them replaced with you loathing me. These feelings, they've grown you see and it hurts me to know that I can't have you. You always seem happier when I'm not around anyway. All I want is for you to be happy and if that means I must to depart from my home, then so be it._

_I am not telling you all of this to burden you with guilt, Jade. I just thought and _hoped_ that perhaps you'd want an explanation as to why come Monday morning I won't be in my usual seat in Sikowitz's class or why I won't ever walk through the Hollywood Arts doors again. I need to move on for both our sakes. I don't expect you to make much of this letter. Honestly it wouldn't hit me by surprise if you chose not to read this at all. I just wanted you to know the truth. I love you, Jade and believe me when I say that this is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I'm sorry about the tear stains; I'm trying desperately not to think about how my life will be when you're no longer in it._

_Don't ever change Jade. You're perfect just the way you are. Please take care of yourself. _

Her breath hitched as she read the final line. She felt a panging ache in her chest when her eyes caught the signature of the anonymous author. It wasn't possible.

_Forever yours,__  
__Tori Vega"_

Jade wiped away the deceiving tears from her face and looked over at the signed name again. How could she have been so blind? The signs had been there all along. Was that what the encounter in the hallway had been all about? What did she mean by leaving? The young Vega's abnormal behavior from the previous weeks suddenly made sense. Tori was distancing herself from everyone on purpose. Of course she was. It wasn't like her to suddenly stop caring for her friends. Why hadn't Jade realized that sooner? "Damn it!" Jade growled slamming her fist on the steering wheel. She tried to image the broken girl writing the letter. She scoffed at the girl's apology for the tear stains. Even when she was heartbroken, Tori cared about others. Jade cried as she looked over the letter. Some of the words had been smudged, clearly by the brunette's tears. She'd made her cry. After everything the two girl's had endured together and despite the Goth's mistreatment, Tori cared for her, _loved_ her. She grew furious with herself. Why did she have to be such a gank?

Jade had to stop her. Whatever Tori had in store, she had to stop her before it was too late. Had she been more aware of the brunette's feelings she would have built up the courage herself ages ago and told her how she felt, too. Jade folded the letter carefully and placed it back on the seat before starting the engine up once more. She made a quick U-turn and changed her destination. It was time to stop being so prideful and selfish.

…

Jade pounded on the door furiously. "Come on, Tori! Open up!" she called. It had taken less than ten minutes for the Goth to arrive at the Vega's residence. She hadn't been far from her home and Tori's home wasn't too far along the road. Jade could feel her heart hammering in her chest as she waited anxiously the door to open. _Please be here_, she chanted in her mind.

A clearly annoyed older Vega swung the door open and glared at the pale girl. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"Where's Tori?" Jade demanded. The rude response of the younger Vega's sibling had only served to infuriate her.

Trina's expression quickly softened. "Tori's gone," she replied.

Jade's mouth gapped open. She was too late? "What do you mean she's gone? When will she be back?" Jade pressed.

"She's _gone_ Jade. She's not coming back," Trina spoke in a low voice

_Take care of yourself, Jade_. The departing words of the young Vega echoed in the Goth's head. No. It couldn't be true. Jade fought the urge to breakdown then as she grabbed the older Vega by the collar of her shirt pulling her to meet her eye level. "What the hell, Trina! She's your little sister and you just let her go like that?" Jade asked in disbelief with a menacing glare.

"It wasn't my place to tell her to stay," Trina defended.

"The hell it wasn't. She's your _sister_! You had every right to hold her back!" Jade growled angrily.

Jade had to use every fiber in her being to maintain from hitting the girl. "Where did she go?" she growled tightening the hold.

Trina gulped nervously. "She took a bus to the train station down town. She wouldn't let me drive her." Trina dropped her gaze with a hurt expression. "She said something about not wanting to make it hard on me. God I'm so stupid." She shook her head at the last statement, feeling guilty.

"Yeah you are," Jade said releasing the girl. She almost felt bad for the older Vega. _Almost_. "What time does her train leave?" she asked glancing at the time on her phone.

"Six thirty." Trina mumbled, maintaining her gaze down.

Jade nodded and took off running to her truck. As threatening as the gray clouds looked she had fifteen minutes to make it across town and down to the station and no time to waste.

…

Jade was worried her legs were about to give out. As she ran through the station she couldn't decide if her chest was hurting from all the forced running or the fear of being too late. She wondered how she managed to make to the station in one piece in the first place. She had driven like a maniac, crossing every yellow light that had presented itself in the unforgiving weather. The station was surprisingly empty as she ran down the silent platform of the station. Her heart nearly stopped as she reached the terminal and watched as the train took off.

"No!" she cried. "No, wait!" she called out trying to chase after the train but failing as she collapsed on her knees.

"Tori," she whispered to herself. "I love you, too." Jade had been oblivious to the rain drenching her as she forced herself to stand. She was too late. Tori was gone. She'd left. Her entire body felt numb as she stood and stared at the empty railroad tracks. Managing to drag her heavy feet away from the tracks, Jade turned to walk back inside the station. If Jade didn't know any better, she could have sworn she had officially lost her mind. There was no way the young brunette was sitting by herself on a bench soaking wet on her own with her head facing down. That wasn't possible. Was it? Hesitantly Jade approached the tan skinned girl, unsure if she should trust her swindle eyes.

"Tori?" her voice cracked.

Distant brown eyes looked up in bewilderment. The look in the Goth's eyes struck fear in her. She quickly stood trying to conjure an explanation as to why Jade was there. She was certain as she watched the pale girl approach her, that she was just about ready to hit her.

"Jade? What are you-" she began.

She was taken by surprise when not one but two hands took hold of her face and a pair of lips claimed her own. It was a moment before Tori understood what was happening and she began to kiss back with the same amount of force. She was caught off guard when she felt her back connect with the wall as they continued their frenzy act.

Jade finally pulled back to look down at the speechless brunette who was attempting to catch her breath.

"Jade listen," Tori began.

"No you listen, _Tori_. You can't just confess all of your feelings to me in a letter and expect everything to be okay." Tori tried to speak but was silenced by the Goth's serious stare. "You can't just tell me you love me and leave. What about my feelings? Don't they matter?" By now Jade had completely given up trying to fight back the tears as she spoke. The rain made it difficult for Tori to see the tears but the familiar broken voice was enough for her to know Jade was crying.

"Jade. I'm…" she tried again.

Jade shook her head. "I thought you'd left, Tori. I thought my one chance to make things right was gone," she cried. "I need you in my life, Tori. I don't know what I would have done with you out of _my_ life. The entire way here I just prayed I wasn't too late and now..." she paused reaching up to caress the tan cheek. "You're here," she whispered, mostly to herself still in disbelief. "You're _here_," she repeated, searching in the chocolate brown eyes. "Why?" she weakly asked.

"I couldn't do it," Tori whispered, finally managing to speak. She rested her hand over the pale one. "Despite how much I knew it was going to hurt to have you ridicule me, I just couldn't leave." Tori stared at the Goth. "I thought you were going to hate me after you read the note."

A sad smile appeared across the dark haired girl's lips. "I don't hate you, Tori. On the contrary actually."

Tori bit her lip. Was she dreaming? Had she heard correctly? "I don't understand," she softly spoke.

Jade chuckled halfheartedly. "You're going to make me say it aren't you?"

Tori slowly nodded in a timid manner.

Jade smiled gently and leaned over to kiss the brunette softly. "I love you, Tori." Her expression grew serious as she gazed at the girl. "I don't know what I would have done if you had left. I would have..."

Tori shook her head. "Don't go there Jade."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jade asked stroking Tori's cheek gently.

Tori dropped her gaze "I didn't think I could handle losing you, Jade. What if you had denied me? You would have never had let me live it down. The idea of you repudiating me broke my heart. The actual rejection would have been the end of me." Tears settled in the brown eyes. "I was such a coward for trying to run away. I was much bigger coward because I couldn't even go through with the plan."

Jade stared at the girl in disbelief. Anger rose in her as she realized all the girl's insecurities were of her fault. Had she not been such a gank, they could have avoided the entire situation. "Quit talking nonsense, Tori. You're anything but a coward. I'm so sorry for making you feel like this. You shouldn't love me. You should _hate_ me. I'm so sorry, baby." She cradled the girl's face in her hands. "So sorry," she cried burying her face in the nape of the brunette's neck.

Tori closed her eyes. She tried to process what was happening. Jade hadn't denied her. She'd actually chased after her in hope of catching up to her before the train left. Tan fingers slowly rose to stroke the dark locks. Tori was afraid she'd open her eyes any given moment and realize it was all just another dream.

Jade lifted her head at the sound of a low cry. Tori had her face down as she cried. "Tori…"

"I don't want to wake up, Jade. I don't think I can handle one more dream. If this is just some game…It's too much... I just…I can't…" she trailed off.

Jade could tell it was going to take time to heal the young Vega's wounds. She took Tori's face once more in her hands before pressing her lips to her in a hard and deep kiss. "You're so" _kiss_ "stupid" _kiss_ "Tori," she whispered. "I love you. It's not a game. It's not a dream. I mean it." She smiled gently. "I'm sorry it had to come down to this for me to tell you."

Tori stared silently. "You _love_ me?" Hearing the words once again make her feel dizzy.

Jade nodded with a grin. "You're not the only one who keeps secrets, Tori."

"But…"

Jade sighed searching in the vulnerable brown eyes. "I'll do whatever it takes to prove to you this isn't a lie. I'm not trying to trick you, Tori. You're not dreaming." She sniffled. "What do I have to do to prove it to you?" she pleaded. It broke her heart to know Tori felt so unsure of herself. As if she couldn't hate herself anymore.

Tori grabbed Jade's wrist and looked into the sincere green eyes. "Don't leave me alone, Jade" she whispered.

Jade shook her head furiously before capturing the girl's lips once more. "Never," she murmured. "I promise." Her hands moved down to the girl's waist. "I love you," she repeated.

Tori smiled into the kiss, her arms hugging the girl closer. "I love you, Jade," she finally said out loud. After months of keeping it inside, it felt good to let it out. It felt amazing knowing the girl she was absolutely and profoundly in love with loved her too. She gave a genuine smile for the first time in months when Jade intertwined their hands and led through the platform and into her truck. It was all too good to be a dream, Tori knew it was. Jade loved her. _Needed_ her. She closed her eyes and drifted into a heavy sleep as Jade drove them home. For once in a long time she knew it wasn't a dream. "I love you," were the last words she heard before she fell asleep.

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**Well?**

**What did you think?**

**Love? Hate?**

**The end?**

**I'll update Serendipity and All Kinds of Wrongs in the next few days (:**

**Let me know what you think!**


	2. Without You Things Go Hazy

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and alerts! You guys are awesome!**

**I couldn't get this out of my head.**

**I think the ****song Hazy by Rosi Golan was very relevant to this chapter. I love that song by the way (;**

**Hope you enjoy! :1**

**I do not own Victorious )"K**

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**Without You Things Go Hazy:**

Green eyes studied the auburn haired sleeping beauty. They scanned over the details of the tanned girl's facial expressions, her every feature. It amazed her how serene the brunette appeared. There was no sign of the girl's previous distress. She'd been sleeping most of the weekend, waking every once in a while to eat and chat briefly only to fall back asleep in the Goth's arms. Jade wondered how often Tori had managed to sleep in the last month. She often appeared to be exhausted in school and Jade had taunted her several of times for looking like a mess. She now regretted those moments more than anything realizing that the brunette had not been sleeping at all. Jade probably knew what detained the young Vega from sleeping and all she could feel at that moment was hatred toward herself. She hadn't just belittled the girl and made her feel so low of herself; she'd broken her completely to the point where she could not rest at ease. She'd made her feel so shallow and all Jade did was stand on the side while the girl broke down in front of her. No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of others. She ran her thumb lightly under the dark circles beneath the girl's eyes. She looked so peaceful in her slumber.

Jade had felt like her world had collapsed the moment she watched train depart. She wasn't sure what she would have become of her had Tori actually have left. The pain she felt was indescribable. She'd felt empty for just that moment. She hadn't realized the effect Tori had had in her life. She'd taken it all for granted and nearly lost the singer in the process. Jade was so angry at herself. She'd caused the girl such heartache. If she had felt numb for just a moment, she'd be damned first before she could ever think it could compare to the young Vega's heartache. More than anything, Jade wished she could go back in time and prevent the Tori's despair. She'd give anything to prevent Tori from feeling so hurt. Jade saw it in the brown eyes at the platform. They looked so empty, so _broken_.

Tori began to stir in the pale arms. They had been dead to the world for the last seventy-two hours, spending the entire weekend at the West residence. Lucky for them Jade's parents were away for the weekend. Tori had been resistance in returning to the Vega's home. She had not insisted on the subject, but Jade suspected the brunette wanted to spend evening with her and secretly she was glad. She didn't want to be apart from the singer. Jade couldn't have cared less for Trina's update on Tori's current location, but for the young Vega's parents sake she had quickly sent the older sibling a text informing her that Tori was fine and would be spending the night at a friend's house for the weekend after they had arrived from the station.

Jade watched eagerly as brown eyes fluttered opened. They blinked a couple of times before focusing on her. Jade felt in ache in her chest. The beautiful chocolate brown eyes looked at her the same way they had each time they opened. They appeared to be attempting to convince themselves that the person before them wasn't an illusion. Each time Jade felt helpless. She didn't know what to do to prove to the girl she was real. She'd do whatever it took to prove to Tori that she wasn't trying to hurt her. She didn't have to be afraid anymore.

"Morning sleepyhead," Jade softly smiled.

Tori gave a small timid smile. "Jade? What time is it?"

Without looking away Jade answered, "It's noon, baby."

Tori blushed at the name. She nodded and sat up. "Wait it's noon. And it's Monday. Jade, we missed school!" she panicked.

Jade sat and stroked the tan girl's back. "Thanks for the update, Vega. Relax I took care of it. Cat will bring us our homework over later." She assured her.

Tori slowly nodded looking up at the pale girl before dropping her gaze. "Jade..." she began.

"Tori I wasn't kidding." Jade answered. It been the same conversation each time the young Vega awoke. Her insecurity was always evident in her eyes. "I love you," Jade whispered gently taking the tan chin and turning her to look at her. Tears appeared in the brown eyes. "Baby, why are you crying?" Jade asked wiping away the tears.

Tori shook her head and leaned her head against the dark haired girl's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be such a crybaby." Her voice was so low it almost sounded nonexistent.

Jade sighed and stroked her back. "Tori, you're not a crybaby. Please calm down." She pulled back to look into the brown eyes.

Tori sniffled and tried to calm her crying. She was trying to get used to the girl's gentle side. She'd only encountered it a couple of times but even then she had managed to convince herself she was only imagining it. Jade would never be nice to her. Life wasn't like that. Not her life. In her life Jade was bitter and hated her and despite the girl's cruel banters she loved Jade.

"Tori we need to talk," Jade said breaking Tori from her thoughts.

The words caused the brunette to panic. Her mind began to race with different scenarios of Jade breaking the truth to her. I knew it! An inside voice told her. She was just messing with you. You idiot, you just beguiled yourself! Why would Jade West _ever_ love you?

Jade watched as the brunette scooted farther away and dropped her gaze. She stared at her hands hard, fidgeting with the end of her shirt. "Tori..." Jade began. She could see that the statement before had been misinterpreted. She grabbed the girl and pressed her against herself before kissing her gently. "Tori please stop over thinking. I'm not going to leave you," she whispered against her lips. "I just want to talk about what happened Friday."

Once Tori had calmed Jade sat face to face with the brunette and took hold of her hand, intertwining it with her own. "Tori, why did you want to abandon your life here and take off?" She asked carefully. The subject was fragile enough for both girls. Jade wanted to burst into tears every time she remembered what it felt like to almost lose Tori. She couldn't imagine how Tori must've felt about the subject herself, but they had to talk about it.

Tori bit her bottom lip. She tried to organize her thoughts in the best way possible to explain to Jade her reasoning for suddenly quitting and running away. It hadn't been an act from the spur of the moment. She had been planning it for a month. She'd distanced herself from her friends and family in attempt to make the departure less agonizing, but she didn't expect to see Jade that day, nevertheless talk to her. Down in the hallway, that moment had changed everything. Originally she had planned on dropping off the letter in the Goth's locker. Given the confrontation, she took the opportunity to say her farewell and plant the letter in the Goth's bag. As she had waited for the train, all Tori could think about how warm Jade had felt in the brief hug. She could only think about how the usually cold green eyes had looked at her for only the slightest moment with concern. When the train arrived and it was time to depart, she couldn't do it. Despite all the planning and arranging she'd gone through, Jade had won. She always won. She didn't know how Jade would react _if _she'd read the letter, come Monday morning. She was afraid she'd be ridiculed and laughed at for loving Jade West, but that could matter the least. She'd take it all if meant she could see the green eyes again.

"Tori…" Jade tried softly.

Tori continued to think of the day. The weather seemed to be set up for the occasion. Before she had arrived at the station it had begun to pour. Upon making her final decision, Tori couldn't have cared less if it was snowing, all she wanted to do was be alone. She knew she'd have to face Jade's wrath eventually, but she wasn't expecting for the girl to show up looking for her. She had expected her to dismiss the letter, actually. The moment she heard her foreign name come out of the Goth's mouth, she was certain she had lost her mind. Why would Jade West be at the train station on a rainy Friday night? It was more shocking to her when she felt the girl suddenly take her and kiss her. Was it really that difficult for her to believe that Jade had gone to the train station to find her and tell she loved her?

"Tori," Jade said squeezing Tori's hand. "Baby, please come back to me."

Tori looked up to meet the pleading green eyes. "Sorry, I was just thinking about that night."

Jade nodded. "Tori, why?" She didn't want to pressure the girl, but they had to talk about that day.

"I couldn't do it, Jade. I just couldn't leave you behind," Tori spoke softly. "I was determined to start over and make a living up in San Francisco with my aunt I have up there, but I just couldn't leave you."

Jade listened quietly.

Brown eyes searched in green. "I expected you to be furious with me when I saw you. I didn't expect you to…to kiss me." She closed her eyes and reached up to touch her lips with her finger tips, remembering how passionate it had felt to have Jade's lips against her own for the first time. It felt like an eternity to Jade, but eventually the half-Latina finally opened her eyes again. "Why _did_ you kiss me, Jade?"

Jade's gaze softened. "Tori, the moment I thought you were gone," she had to pause to refrain from crying and inhaled to try and swallow the growing lump in her throat. "It felt like my world ended, Tori. I didn't know what I was going to do without you. Without you, nothing makes sense, Tori." She set her jaw and dropped her gaze. "I love you, Tori. I love you so much and I'm so sorry." She pulled her hand back and closed them into tight fists. "I'm so sorry," she cried. Jade had never been one to cry in front of people. She didn't cry for anyone. The final break-up with Beck hadn't taken such a toll on her. Perhaps it was because by that time Jade knew she was in love with Tori. The memory of almost losing Tori struck her heart painfully. It made her want to fall on her knees again and cry out for her. She looked up when she felt a hand rest on her clenched fist.

"Jade," Tori softly spoke. "I'm sorry. I didn't know…"

Jade shook her head. "No, Tori. _I'm_ sorry." She furrowed her brows and grew angry at herself. "I'm so sorry for causing you so much pain. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to…"She was cut off as Tori cupped her face and kissed.

"Jade, please stop apologizing. We both knew what we were doing." Tori said holding the green eyes with her brown.

Jade wrapped her fingers around Tori's wrist and pressed their foreheads together. "I _am_ sorry, baby." She whispered before leaning in to capture the brunette's lips. Tori nodded into the kiss and buried her finger into the dark locks. Before they knew it they spread out across the bed tangled in each other

"Tell me that you love me," Tori whispered against Jade's lips.

Jade kissed down and along the bronze neck, nipping at the skin. "I love you," she kissed back up the tan jaw line and hovered over the swollen lips. "I love you so much, Tori," she whispered before kissing her once more. "I promise not to hurt you again," Jade whispered against the caramel skin of the neck. "I promise."

…

Tori had sent Trina a text message asking she bring her school bag to school. Tori had insisted they just stop by the house to pick it up, but Jade had none of it. They left the West Residence two hours before school begun and stopped by to eat at the local international house of pancakes. Tori wondered how the Goth knew she liked pancakes. Did she talk in her sleep? As they drove to school in Jade's truck, Tori couldn't help but wonder how things would work out between once they stepped in to the walls of Hollywood Arts. The last time they had been inside together it was supposed to be Tori's final day. Would everything they talked about vanish the moment they walked in?

"You think too much," Jade spoke brushing back a strand of auburn hair from the tanned girl's face.

Tori blushed and looked up at the green-eyed girl. They waited in the school parking lot inside Jade's truck. Jade tilted her head the slightest to level with the brown eyes. "What are you thinking, Tori?" she asked caressing the tan cheek.

It was all new to Tori. Hearing Jade use her first name without malice made her want to melt. She leaned her cheek against the warm hand and closed her eyes. She didn't want to sound like an attached girlfriend. Is that what she was? Jade's girlfriend? "You. Me. Us." She smiled. "What are we, Jade?" Tori placed her hand over the one on her cheek and intertwined them.

Jade studied the girl carefully. She hadn't really thought about. She knew she loved the girl and that she'd do anything to make her happy. "What do you want us to be?" she asked. Given the opportunity, Jade would more than gladly become an item with Tori, but only if she wanted it, too.

Tori's eyes opened and searched in the green ones. She bit her lip and thought. She didn't want to force Jade into being in a relationship she didn't want to be in. Her eyes hardened as she pulled away from the Goth's embrace. "Jade, I don't want to be a burden on you." She stared into the green eyes intently. "You can walk away from whatever this is now. I promise I won't hold a grudge against-"

She was silenced when Jade leaned over to kiss her. "I'm not going anywhere, Tori. You're stuck with me now." She smiled. "Like it or not," she kissed Tori again, harder this time expressing the superfluous passion. Tori nodded feeling light head from the kiss once they parted.

Jade stepped out of the truck and walked around to open the young Vega's door. "Come on, I don't want my girlfriend to be late for class." Jade said giving Tori a wink as she intertwining their hands.

Tori smiled and walked side by side with her girlfriend, Jade. This had to be a dream. It was more than perfect. If it was a dream, she was going to enjoy while it lasted.

…

The day was finally over. Tori wasn't sure how she'd managed to make it through, but she did it. She was glad she'd studied all last week for the chemistry test. Jade had been less than discreet about their relationship. They sat as close as the chairs would allow in Sikowitz's class. To Tori's surprise Sikowitz seemed to be pleased that the two girls were together. Robbie and Cat had smiled at them once they entered the class. Andre had given Tori a knowing look and winked at her before taking his seat. Beck on the other hand had been stoic the entire time. It had made Tori uneasy at first, but the feeling quickly vanished the moment Jade squeezed her hand and gave her a smile that made her stomach flutter. Once lunch came around, Jade guided them to the usual table. Tori felt a little worried about how things would go between Jade and Beck. He took his seat across the girls and glanced between them before giving them a smile and falling into a casual conversation with the rest of the gang.

Jade listened quietly and watched as Tori became animated again as she laughed and chatted with their friends. She'd really missed the young Vega. She wasn't gone in the past month, but she might as well have been. She attacked like such a recluse to her surroundings

"There's the smile I've been missing," said a familiar voice, pulling Tori from her thoughts. She looked up from her locker to see her best friend looking at her with a huge grin.

"How's my favorite brunette doing this fine day? You seem pretty happy." Tori chuckled at Andre's way of addressing her. His expression soon grew serious after a moment. "I missed you, Tori."

She nodded knowing what he meant. Her behavior had affected everyone around her more than she could have expected. She'd noticed it by the way her friends approached during the day. They'd been friendly and more alive than they had been in the last month. "Sorry about that. I was having a midlife crisis." Tori said offering a small smile.

Andre patted her arm. "Hey I get it. I'm just glad to have my best friend back. I should have probably have tried to talk to you about it. I'm sorry about that."

Tori shook her head. "I needed my space. I don't think I would have really listened to anything you had to say." She furrowed her brows thinking about what had happened over the last month and the last couple of days. "I'm doing my best, Andre. I promise you I'm back." She smiled.

Andre nodded and hugged his best friend before turning to walk. "Just remember, Tori that I'm always here if you ever need to talk." He smiled and walked off.

Tori felt so lucky to have such an understanding best friend. He didn't question her behavior. He trusted her enough to know why she couldn't speak about it. She knew now she'd made the right choice in staying.

Tori smiled to herself when she spotted the familiar raven haired girl at her locker. She appeared to be mumbling to herself. "Hey, Jade!" she called out from across the hall. When she didn't respond Tori made her way to the girl and lightly tapped her shoulder. "Jade…" she began.

"What?" Jade snapped quickly in anger. Her eyes grew wide when they settled on the brunette. She could tell by the trembling chin that Tori was desperately trying not to cry. Her eyes were glossy with restrained tears and as she opened and closed her mouth. Jade felt her heart break when Tori gave her a broken smile. "Sorry it's nothing important," Tori managed, again she smiled before turning around and power walking away.

Jade flinched. Why did she apologize? She'd done nothing wrong. She was frozen in place feeling numb. She'd just snapped at Tori. She'd promised she'd never hurt her again and in less than twenty-four hours she had managed to break the promise she knew meant everything to Tori. "Damn it!" she growled at herself before finally reaching her senses and running after the young Vega.

When she finally found her, she was sitting alone in the black box theater. Small tan arms were wrapped around her small frame with her head buried against her knees. She jumped up startled by the pale girl's touch as she sat beside her. "Tori, I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay Jade. I didn't mean to upset you," she murmured.

Jade fought back the urge to cry. "Tori please look at me," she pleaded. "You didn't upset me, baby. I was just angry, but not at you. I had no right to snap at you like that."

Tori shook her head. "I should have known better."

Jade furrowed her brows in confusion. "Known better? Baby you're not psychic."

Again Tori shook her head. "I always make you angry, Jade. Why would three days suddenly change that?" Tori said finally looking up. "I should have known better. This may not be a dream, but it's reality. And in reality you _hate_ me," she smiled sadly. "It's reality Jade."

Tori stood and looked down at the girl. "I'm sorry I wasted your time." She whispered walking away.

Jade growled and stood. She quickly followed behind the brunette and grabbed her wrist spun her around and pressed her against the wall hard as she kissed her senselessly. "You haven't done anything wrong, Tori. _I_ snapped. I'm trying to stop the habit. You could never waste my time. I don't care if this is reality, because _in_ reality I love you, okay." Jade nipped at the girl's ear. "Baby, get that through that pretty little head of yours. I love you. I love you so much." She kissed down the tan neck and up the jaw before pulling back to look into the brown eyes. "I love you, Tori Vega. This will take a lot of work, but I won't give up. I won't stop loving you. And I won't ever allow myself to snap at you like that again. I promise, baby." Pale fingers tightened around the small waist. "You've _never_ made me angry, Tori. You've always made me happy even when I tried to deny it. Please forgive me."

Tori nodded. She smiled at the girl's words. She buried her fingers in the dark locks and brought the girl's lips to hers. "I love you, Jade." Please don't give up on me, she thought. Jade continued to kiss the girl with pure passion before breathing became a must. She rested her forehead against the smaller girl's.

"I just realized I haven't asked you out on a proper date." She whispered breathlessly.

Tori stared into the blue eyes and nodded. "Are you asking me out on a date?" she raised a brow. A hint of the old and passionate Tori Vega appeared and caused Jade's stomach to flutter. She would do whatever it took to bring back the strong and defiant Tori Vega.

Jade smiled and nodded. "Tori Vega, will you go out with me?"

A grin appeared across the brunette's features. "You think I deserve a date with the notorious Jade West?"

Jade gave her a quick kiss. "Tori Vega, I think you're wonderful and deserve all the kisses in the world. On one condition," she smiled, her lips brushing over the other girl's lightly. "That all kisses must be provided by me." She smirked.

Tori grinned and closed the distant between them. "It's a date," she smiled. "And a deal." The two girls continued to playfully kiss for a while longer before they decided to finally leave the talented school. It had been too long of a day for the two. Jade smiled and thought about what she could do to make their first date special. It _had_ to be special. She admired the sleeping brunette and lightly drew circles on her taut stomach as she slept. Tori deserved to be happy. She'd do anything to make her smile. She gently kissed her forehead and rested her head against the crook of the girl's neck and wrapped her arm against the small waist. "I'll find a way to fix you again, Tori," she whispered as she fell asleep against the girl she loved.

* * *

**A/N: Well? What do you think? This will probably be a three-parter**

**Like? Hate?**

**Let me know what you think! :1**

**Reviews keep me motivated (;**

**The title of the chapter is a lyric from the song Hazy by Rosi Golan**

**I know I've fallen behind on my other stories, but fear not! Updates will soon appear!**


	3. Breathe Again

**A/N: **Hey there! Thank you for all the reviews and alerts! You're all amazing!

It's been a little longer than expected. Sorry about that, I couldn't concentrate after the breaking news of the show.

Here it is the final part of this lovely story. At least I hope it's the final part. Is it?

It's pretty long and I just couldn't bring myself to split it. :1

Hope you enjoy!

I **do not** own Victorious )}':

* * *

**Breathe Again**

Jade and Tori had been dating for almost two weeks now. Tori had grown to accept their relationship. Sometimes she'd feel doubtful about the entire situation and would find herself believing maybe it was just some kind of prank Jade was trying to pull off. In those moments Jade could see the insecurity in the girl's eyes and she'd simply give the girl an assuring smile and she'd repeat the three words that gave a fluttering sensation to the brunette's heart. Jade had the entire event for their date planned. As much as she would have loved to have taken Tori about the first week they were dating, she felt it was necessary for at least a week to pass so not to overwhelm either girls.

She would have loved to have the date Friday night, but she wanted to dedicate the entire day to Tori. She decided to set the date for Saturday.

They were in the young Vega's room alone doing homework. Jade had long finished and had grown bored waiting for the other girl to finish. "What are you doing?" She asked resting her chin on the brunette's shoulder. She'd been watching the young girl for almost an hour now.

Tori smiled and peered over her shoulder. "I'm just going over my English notes." The pale girl's pout caused her to giggle.

Jade wrinkled her nose. "You've been doing that for the last hour. I thought you were doing homework."

"Finished that in study hall," Tori shrugged.

"You actually do homework in study hall?" Jade raised a brow questionably.

"Force of habit," Tori mumbled dropping her gaze.

Jade knew what she was referring to. They had discussed everything that had happened over the last month, from the smallest moments to the smallest details and unexplained behaviors.  
She fought back the apology that stuck to the end of her tongue. They'd agreed to stop apologizing to each other for their past behaviors. They'd never make it anywhere if they were always apologizing.

"Alright, that's it. No more homework," Jade said shaking off the thoughts and standing up right. She spun Tori around in the chair and took her hand helping her to stand. "Dance with me?" she smiled.

Tori giggled, dropping her hands down to her side freely. "There isn't any music, Jade."

Jade smirked. "_Take my hand,_" she began to sing, "_I'll teach you dance. I'll spin you around, won't let you fall down_."

Tori smiled widely. Jade was singing to _her_. "Are you seriously singing right now?"

Jade nodded and continued, "_Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet. Give a try. It'll be alright_," she offered her hand.

Tori grinned taking the girl's hand more than willing.

Jade wrapped one hand around the smaller girl's waist and pressed them close. She took their free hands and intertwined, gently resting them together against her chest as she began to sway them.

"_The room's hush hush and now's our moment. Take it in, feel it all and hold it. Eyes on you, eyes on me. We're doing this right_," she sang softly looking into the brown eyes. She led them to the middle of the room and lightly spun them. "_'Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love. Spotlight's shining it's all about us._" Jade smiled widely down at the girl. "_Every heart in the room will melt. This is a feeling I've never felt, But it's all about us._" She took the moment to quickly kiss the brunette before continuing. She was taken by surprise as Tori beat her to the next verse.

"_Suddenly, I'm feeling brave. I don't know what's got into me, why I feel this way. Can we dance, real slow? Can I hold you, can I hold you close?_" Tears were in the brown eyes as they rocked back and forth.

"_Do you hear that love? They're playing our song_," Jade sang.

"_Do you think we're ready? Oh, I'm really feeling it_," Tori sang back.

"_Do you hear that love? Do you hear that love?_" Jade smiled and replied. She brushed away the small tears the sliped down the tanned skin with her thumb.

"_They're playing our song. It's all about us_," Jade whispered before kissing her.

Tori looked up at the girl as the swift swaying in the comfortable silence slowly ended. "I never pictured you as the romantic type," she softly spoke.

Jade shook her head with a smirk. "I'm not romantic, just in love." Jade wasn't fanciful, at least not according to herself. They were only small gestures that occurred to her in the heat of the moment. She just couldn't help herself when she was with Tori. She felt her cheeks fire up when she realized what she'd said. She was in love with Tori. A small smile grew across her lips. She was in love with Tori.

"I can't believe Trina's actually afraid of you," Tori giggled against her chest.

Jade laughed recalling the older Vega's behavior when she found out the two girls were together. "I think I have to take the credit there. I wasn't exactly kind when I pounced on her the day you…" Jade trailed off. The topic of Tori's near departure had been spoken of a couple of times, but each time it only served to dishearten the girls.

Tori looked up at the green eyed girl when she fell silent. The near loss had really affected the pale girl. Tori felt a pang of guilt hit her when she noticed the girl was clenching her jaw. "Jade," Tori whispered. "I'm so-"

"Don't," Jade whispered. She looked into the concerned brown eyes. "Don't apologize, Tori. It's in the past. I just... It's still hard knowing I was the primary reason for your desire to leave. It hurts to remember how you looked that night." She wasn't crying, but Tori could hear all the emotion in the Goth's voice. There was something in the blue-green eyes Tori couldn't quite read. Before she had the opportunity to further examine it, it was gone and replaced with an adoring gaze.

"Let's go eat. We've been cooped up in this place long enough doing homework," Jade smirked gesturing to the room and taking Tori's hand.

Tori smiled following behind. She was hungry. The look in Jade's eyes concerned her. It wasn't fear or anger. What was it? Her thoughts were dismissed as she waved goodbye to her parents and ran to the Goth's truck. Jade was hiding something, but what?

…

Tori put away her books and shut her locker. She was trying to kill sometime as she waited for the Goth. Jade had sent her a text during study hall letting her know she'd be a little late for lunch. She had to speak with one of her teachers about an upcoming assignment.

"Hey Tori," a voice greeted the young Vega.

Tori turned around to find the tall Canadian standing behind her with a small smile. "Hey Beck," she replied returning a smile.

"Aren't you going to lunch?" He asked raising a brow and adjusting his backpack over his shoulder.

Tori closed her locker and faced Beck. He'd been acting a little distant the last couple of days. He didn't speak too often when Jade was around and he always seemed to be observing the new couple. Tori tried to brush off the boy's odd behavior. They hadn't spoken too much. Tori had meant to ask him what was bothering him, but there never seemed to be time. Now that the opportunity was given, she was willing to take full advantage of it.

"No, I'm waiting for Jade. She's just talking with her screenwriting teacher," she replied.

Beck shifted his weight from his right leg to his left and looked down. His hand gripped the strap over his shoulder as he timidly looked back up at the singer.

"Why are you with Jade?" he asked in a small stoic voice.

Tori stepped back. She blinked unsure if she had heard correctly. Beck was seriously questioning her relationship with Jade? She furrowed her brows in anger and prepared to give an earful.

"I mean I don't get it. Jade's never been nice to you, Tori. You can't honestly believe she loves you." He said his voice raising and sounding hard.

Tori felt anger rise in her. It felt almost unrecognizable. It had been over a month since she had allowed herself to truly feel any emotions. She'd been feeling more than ecstatic being with Jade the last couple of days. There weren't words enough to explain how she felt with the Goth, but at that moment all she could see was red. She felt her body shaking from all the growing anger from the Canadian's accusations.

"Why can't you just accept it, Beck? You and Jade were once an item. You may have known her then, but she's not the same person. Believe it or not, she loves me. Why would she lie about that?" she growled. She couldn't believe this was really happening.

Beck sighed. "Tori all I'm saying is that maybe you should be careful. It's Jade we're talking about here. She's always changing her mind. Will you really be able to handle it if she changes her mind with you?" His brown eyes appeared to show concern, but Tori refused to acknowledge it.

Her tight fist clenched and unclenched. Why couldn't he just let them be? She was happy. Jade was happy. Why now?! "Is this what it's really about? You've been acting like a recluse all week and then you jump on me with this?" Tori shook her head in disbelief. "You're supposed to be my friend, Beck! Why can't you be happy for us? Why can't you just let us be?" She fought back the burning sensation in her throat. She wouldn't cry. She didn't want to cry, not in front of him.

"Tori, I don't mean to upset you, I just…"

"Just what, Beck? You suddenly care about how I'm feeling? You're suddenly concerned? You weren't concerned a month ago when I was quiet. You didn't care that I wasn't my happy old self. And you certainly didn't care about my feelings, because if you had, you'd have known that two weeks ago I was about ready to leave this place. I was ready to skip town so that I could move on and leave all my feelings for Jade behind." She spoke harshly.

Beck's mouth opened and closed. Something in his eyes shifted as stared at the girl for a moment before speaking again. "Tori, I'm sorry, I really am, but that's beside the point right now. I just don't want you to get hurt. Jade West is and always will be a-" Before Beck could finish his statement Tori's fist collided with his jaw, knocking him back against the lockers.

"Jade West is my girlfriend and I love her! If I ever hear you talk about her like that again my fist won't be the only thing telling you otherwise!" With that said Tori turned around to leave. She quickly glanced at the baffled looking Goth who stood a few steps away, before running out of the hallway and out to the quad.

Jade watched the teary girl run passed her then turned to look at the injured boy who stood staring at the ground where moments before the young Vega had stood. Whatever they had discussed had certainly upset Tori enough to induce violence from her. Jade growled furiously knowing Beck was the cause of her girlfriend's affliction. She stormed up to him and fought back every muscle in her body that wanted to grab him and shake him hard. "What the hell did you do?"

Beck focused on her. His eyes switching from shock to anger as he cupped his aching jaw. He had to admit Tori had quite the hook. "What did I do? Jade what kind of sick game are you playing here?" he spat. "Are you just messing with Tori? Did you not see how torn she was just a couple of weeks ago? Be fair to her and…"

Jade could have eaten him alive. He was accusing her of using Tori. She groaned in anger and interjected, "Are you kidding me right now? Fair?! Be _fair_to her?! For crying out loud, Beck! Get your head out of your pants and listen carefully because I am only saying this ONCE! This has nothing to do with you! It wasn't, isn't, and never will! I never used you! I loved you and now that's in the past! I love Tori, okay? I have no vile plot up my sleeve and no intention of ever hurting her like I did before! I almost lost her once and I'll be damned first before I allow some stupid little narrow minded ex-boyfriend of mine to come between us because he thinks I'm playing some sick demented game!"

She took in a quick breath before continuing, ignoring the boy's attempt to speak. "I love her, Beck and I'm fully aware of what I did to her and how I hurt her. I don't need another reminder. I've seen it in her eyes and trust me when I tell you that it breaks my heart when I think about all the times I hurt her."

Beck dropped his gaze in contrition.

"She has every right to be doubtful and afraid." Her voice dropped sounding small. _Just like me_, she thought. "I'm terrified, Beck. What if one day she realizes that I'm not worth her time? What if she realizes I'm not as special as she believes? I'm _not_ worth her time. I was a gank to her from day one and now everyday it scares me that she'll wake up and realize that I don't deserve such an amazing girl like her." She tightened her fists, trying to keep hold of her emotions. Tori wasn't the only one feeling doubtful. Jade was scared, petrified. She felt she didn't deserve Tori. She _knew_she didn't. She'd been so cruel and unkind and Tori had still managed to forgive, despite everything Tori loved her. Jade didn't know how she would handle it if Tori decided she didn't want her. She couldn't bear to think about it.

Jade huffed and spoke in a lower tone. "I'm not messing with her, Beck." She understood he was only trying to be a good friend to Tori, but it had infuriated her at the accusation. Did he really think that low of her? "I can't hurt her. I know it sounds like a joke coming from me, but I can't and won't hurt her because I'm in love with her." It was the second time she admitted it. She knew she loved Tori, but she'd been afraid to think about what it would be like to be IN love with her. She sighed and took in a quick breath not allowing the boy any room to speak. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a beautiful girlfriend who needs to be tended to at the moment." Jade turned on her heel and made her way outside to find the young Vega.

Tori was leaning against the truck, her head bowed. Jaded didn't have to be close to know that she was crying. Once she was close enough to touch the girl, she took her in her arms and hugged her. She stroked the auburn hair and whispered soothing words into her hair. When the brown eyes finally looked up, Jade had to fight back the urge to break down. There was an unreadable expression written in the brown eyes. "Tori," she began.

"Jade I know what he said is not true. It's just... It makes me angry that I can feel so doubtful about us; you." She swallowed. "I know you love me, I know you do." She looked down, her brows knitting together in frustration.

Jade cupped the girl's face and softly smiled. "Tori," she whispered. She searched in the memorizing brown eyes. There weren't enough words to express how she felt about the brunette. Jade caressed the caramel skin before leaning to kiss the brunette. Any doubt or insecurity vanished in that moment as the kiss spoke all the words the two girls could not verbally articulate.

As the kiss naturally ended, Tori couldn't help but notice again that same look in Jade's eyes from the other night. What was it? Again it disappeared before she had the chance to read into it. She looked down and flinched when she felt a warm hand over her aching hand.

"Does it hurt?" Jade asked softly running her thumb over the slowly bruising knuckles.

Tori nodded. "I probably shouldn't have punched him," she whispered.

Jade chuckled softly. "Sometimes that boy needs to be reminded that there are things he shouldn't be putting his nose in." Jade thought about his words. _"Did you not see how torn she was just a couple of weeks ago? Be fair to her." _Was she being unfair to Tori? Her jaw suddenly felt heavy. She forced down the cries wanting to consume her and focused on the injured hand.

"Let's go get you some ice," Jade managed to say in the steadiest voice she could muster.

"Jade," Tori tried, noticing Jade's sudden change of emotions in her eyes. What was going on?

Jade shook her head. "You've quite a hook there, Vega." She smirked. "Remind me never to get on your bad side." She winked at her, leading her back inside the school.

Tori softly laughed and shook her head. It amazed her how easily Jade could make her smile.

...

"Tori!" Cat saluted the young Vega from across the hall.

Tori laughed and watched as the bubbly red head practically glide toward her. "Well someone's in a really good mood today!"

Cat giggled. "I could say the same," she responded.

"So what's up, Cat?" There was only one class left before school was done for the day. The passing time in between classes was enough to allow the students time to go to their lockers. The two girls had the final class together and met by their beforehand.

Cat looked at the brunette with a content grin. "You know she loves you." Cat softly spoke as they began to walk to class.

Tori stared at her in question.

"Tori, just because I act like an airhead it doesn't mean I'm actually oblivious. You'd have to be completely brain dead not see how you two feel about each other. Jade can be a stubborn person, Tori, but she loves you."

Tori stared speechless. She stopped walking and turned her full attention to the small redhead.

Cat smiled stopping, too. "I'm her best friend, Tori." She looked around at the now empty hallway. She sat down on the floor by the lockers, understanding they were not going to end up going to class. She gestured for the brunette to sit beside her as she continued. "It took her two weeks after you started attending Hollywood Arts for her show up at my place. She was nearly in tears and all she mumbled was how angry she was and she couldn't take it. She cried for a while then left. I felt dumbstruck, but the next day at school I noticed the hostile behavior she had toward you and I knew then." A knowing grin grew along the smaller girl's features.

The red head paused only for a second taking in a breath. "You know with Beck she was the opposite actually. I've known her for years and I found it strange that she'd actually managed to talk to him, but with you it was different. She seemed to be almost afraid. She hates being afraid. Says she hates feeling vulnerable. That's probably why she lashed out at you. You scared her and made her feel more vulnerable than she's ever felt." Cat's stare softened. "I don't know what happened between you two to change, Tori but she's different. Happy, genuinely happy. She was comfortable with Beck and I was worried she'd settle for Beck. Don't take me wrong, Beck's a great guy, but it seemed like she was trying to convince herself he was the best she could do. She didn't seem truly happy."

Cat sighed. "Tori, in the last two weeks Jade has changed. She's…" Cat stopped as a quick memory played in her mind. "Just take a moment to look at her. Really look at her. She's Jade, the real Jade. She's laughing and joking. You bring that out in her, Tori. I can see you're frightened by all of this, but remember you're not the only one capable of feeling. She might be better at hiding her feelings, but knowing Jade, she's probably terrified." Cat stood looking at the clock against the wall. The bell would be ringing soon. "I only tell you this, Tori because I want you both to be happy together."

Tori thought about the dance they had shared the previous night. Jade had said she wasn't the romantic type. Maybe she wasn't. Maybe Cat was right; Tori brought that out in Jade.

She watched as the small red head stood and waited for the bell to ring. Tori stood, too, thinking about how Jade had been acting. She had been right. Jade was hiding something.

"She needs you Tori," Cat spoke again.

Tori turned around to face the smaller girl.

"She's not going to ask for your help, it's not like Jade, but she does need you," Cat gave her a final look before smiling and taking off. "See ya later, Tori!" She called out as she ran to the doors.

**...**

Jade settled all the way in the back of the library on the farthest table possible. She would have preferred to have spent the afternoon with her girlfriend, but she wanted to know what she had caused the pop singer to feel during her the time she had forced herself to stay after school in attempt to distract her own thoughts from the Goth. It was as she emptied her book bag across the desk that she realized that it was the table she had sat at the Saturday morning the entire gang had spent at school in detention. Jade felt a wave of emotions fall over her. Had not Tori explained she spend her time in the library in attempt to avoid the Goth in her thoughts?

Jade realized then that despite the half Latina's strongest efforts to avoid her, she was unable to do it completely. That was why she had decided it was best if she left. Guilt and shame dawned on the raven haired girl as she took a seat. Had she been that unbearable for Tori? She could not talk to her, but she could settle with only the memory of the Goth sitting at the table?

Jade knew how Tori felt. She'd been doing her best to avoid the brunette herself. She'd gone as far as getting detention for answering back to the teacher. She wasn't much of a troublemaker in class, but Jade had tried her best to repress her feelings for the girl and in doing so she had resulted in lashing out in anger more than usual.

The relationship with Beck had been great, she was glad it happened, really, but she couldn't seem to shake off the feeling of comfort with him. Jade loved Beck. He was more than a wonderful boyfriend. He'd put up with her through the years, but that was just it. It seemed as the time passed by, Jade couldn't help but feel like she was losing herself. It wasn't Beck's fault. She didn't blame him, but something about their relationship made Jade become aggressive and defensive. She hadn't always been like that. She felt safe with Beck, felt like he was the best she could do. Tori on the other hand scared her, petrified her. She didn't know if she could handle Tori. That's what drove her to fall for her. She brought out the softer side of her. She made her feel guilty. She made her cry, laugh, she scared her. She laughed with Beck, she cried, but it wasn't the same. She'd grown too comfortable with him.

Jade didn't know how to explain it herself, but she knew she loved that Tori could bring that out in her, but it also frightened her. Tori had the power to hurt her, break her. She'd done it the night she had almost gone. Jade didn't know what she would have done had Tori left. Beck left her alone when he decided not to open the door, but it didn't hurt as much as she'd imagined it would have. With just the thought of Tori leaving, it brought tears to the emerald eyes. It caused her chest pain and made her light headed. It scared her so much. Tori had so much power over her and with just one decision she could easily destroy her. That's what scared. It wasn't that she allowed Tori to have such power over her; it was the fact that despite her awareness, she was willing to take the risk of Tori destroying her completely.

She stared at the carved letters on the old wooden table. In the lower corner was a small carved pair of scissors Jade had made during the detention that Saturday morning. Her eyes travelled down to the small microphone that was carved not even a centimeter away. She smiled to herself knowing very well who had carved it and imagined the young Vega carving the microphone with her pencil. Why had Tori spent all her time trying to forget her if she'd only wind up thinking about her every time she sat in the precise seat Jade sat at in that moment. Her fingers outlined the small microphone as she tried to understand the singer's reasoning.

"I don't understand it myself."

Jade looked up startled. "Tori," she whispered. She felt like she'd been caught red-handed. She'd told the girl she had to stay after school. She hadn't lied. She had to take a quiz she'd missed a couple weeks back. Afterward the curiosity of what Tori had found so appealing in the library overpowered her.

Tori softly smiled and took a few steps, taking the seat beside the Goth. "I tried to get you out of my head yet it always seemed impossible." Tori said looking up at the green expecting eyes. She searched in them and noticed for the first something different in them. She finally recognized what the mysterious look in the green eyes was. It wasn't anger or fear. It was _insecurity_. Not once had Tori ever seen that in the Goth. Despite how upset she'd get she never appeared to be insecure. What was she insecure about?

Tori reached over to grab the pale hand that was clutching at the book bag on the table. "But I don't want you out of my head, Jade." She leaned closer to look directly into the blue-green eyes. Tori noticed the slightest trembling of the girl. "Jade you're shaking." She said wrapping her arms around the pale girl.

Jade struggled to form words. She swallowed hard and breathed slowly before managing to speak. "You scare me." Her voice was so low it was a wonder how Tori had heard her. "You're the only person with the power to break my heart and it just scares the hell out of me. What if I screw this up? What if I do something wrong? I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you to hurt me. I just..." Jade shook her heard flustered. She couldn't find the proper words to explain how she felt. She hadn't realized she was crying until Tori reached over to wipe away the tears from her cheeks.

"Jade," Tori began. She realized in that moment that everything Cat had said to her made sense. Jade _was_different. She was fragile. Tori had been so consumed by her own fear of losing the dark haired girl she had almost been blinded by the fact that Jade was also afraid. She'd just been better at hiding it. The way Jade had been behaving suddenly made sense. She'd been a completely different person. She was protective and loving, but she also appeared to be walking on eggshells around Tori. She didn't want Jade to be afraid. Tori would never try to hurt her, not purposely.

"You don't have to be afraid, baby." She spoke softly brushing back a strand of dark hair. "I'm not going to hurt you Jade. I love you. I'm sorry I've caused you to feel like this. I don't want you to be afraid." she stroked the pale cheek. "You're Jade and I'm Tori and we're going to have our differences every now and then, I know that, but none of that matters because at the end of the day I know you love me and you know I love you and that's all that matters, Jade. I know this isn't going to be easy and like you said, it will take a lot of work, but as long as we're both trying and willing we'll be just fine." She caressed the pale cheek and smiled. "I want this, Jade. Us, I want all of it, with the headaches, heartaches, fights, cries, laughs and all the memories we are going to share together. It took longer than it should have for me to see that I'm not the only one afraid in this relationship. I don't care what _anyone_says, I love you. I've loved you from the moment I first saw and I will continue to love each and every day." She looked deep into the colored eyes. "I love you, Jade. You were there when I was scared and broken. Now it's my turn to be here for you." She hugged the girl, stroking her hair. She sighed in content knowing that they were going to be okay. They were both human beings. They both had feelings. She held the girl tightly in her arms just like she had held her.

Jade blinked speechless at the girl's words. Jade wasn't afraid anymore. She was certain more than ever that Tori loved her. She had grown tired of crying in front of Tori, felt like it made her look weak, but she realized then that Tori didn't care if Jade had her weak moments. None of that mattered because she loved her. She nodded and allowed herself to cry in the arms of girl who she trusted enough with her entire being not to hurt her.

They were going to be just fine, they both thought falling into a comforting silence when the crying subsided. They knew if either one ever fell, together they could help each other back up.

**...**

Jade had picked up Tori earlier Saturday evening for their first date. She had yet to tell the girl where they were off to. "You like sea food right?" she asked, keeping her eyes on the road. The drove for almost an hour along the coast enjoying the beautiful view of the sea.

Tori nodded. She felt so jubilant. It was their first official date. Trina had grown annoyed by her sappy mood during the day and decided to lock herself in the room for the rest of the day. Tori didn't care, nothing could ruin that day. Not even Trina. "I love sea food," Tori replied.

"Good," Jade smirked. "I was afraid I might have to have a word with Harris later if he was wrong."

Tori raised a brow. Jade had asked Andre? She smiled to herself and took interlaced her hand with Jade's free hand. After dinner at the surprisingly quiet pier of Santa Monica beach the two girls walked by the sea shore. Tori had managed to convince Jade to ride the Ferris wheel promising to hold her hand the entire time after she had claimed to hate heights. They played a couple games and Jade had won her a stuffed teddy bear, which Tori decided to name Jadelyn, causing Jade herself to giggle at the girl's creativity.

It was a bit chilly in the night. Colored eyes admired the brunette. There she stood looking over the ledge. The pale girl's heart had never pounded so profusely. The oblivious brunette continued to stare down over the ledge on the pier engrossed by the roaring waves. The last time Jade had observed the girl from a distance on her own, she had been in tears in the cold rain. Jade shook away the memory. It was a thought she'd never forgive herself for causing and as she stood and looked at the girl she loved staring out into the middle of the ocean, she knew she never wanted to see that broken look in those captivating chocolate brown eyes. Quietly Jade approached the tanned girl. She slipped her arms around the girl's small waist and rested her chin gently over her shoulder. The girl didn't flinch quickly recognizing the touch.

"It's quite a view," Tori whispered staring out into the sea.

Jade softly smiled looking down at the girl. "It sure is." She kissed the caramel skin of the girl's cheek and whispered, "Tori, I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorrow." Tori smiled, turning to face the girl. She looked into the moonlit blue eyes before leaning up on her tiptoes to press her lips in a tender kiss against the dark haired girl's. They broke apart peacefully, Tori in Jade's arms, and enjoyed the comforting silence as they stared at the unending sea together. Like the sea, they knew that whatever lay ahead of them, they would willingly discover it together.

* * *

**A/N:** Well? What did you think?

Love? Hate? Eh?

Lol I've been really busy with work and school starts again tomorrow. It may be a while before I write again, but Serendipity will be up again soon. I apologize for the long wait and truly appreciate all of my readers

Hope you enjoyed this :1

Let me know what your favorite part was (;

Review please!


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